Hi, I'm Jordyn and this is my story.
The moment Hanna asked me to “model” for her in her photography studio, I was overcome with excitement, anticipation and joy. I already had the outfits picked out in my head. As a fashion student and a lifelong player of dress up, this was basically a dream come true. The excitement and joy, however, would quickly mutate into feelings closer resembling anxiety, nervousness, dread, and fat (which, yes, I know is not a feeling). The following few days leading up to the photo shoot were a blur of worry and self-loathing. I was sure Hanna would see me, remember what I looked like, and think twice about the whole thing. I spent those entire three or four days completely focused on that single evening in the future; I lost those three or four days from my life to worry and dread (I seem to have become an expert at diverting my attention from the present moment). When I arrived at her studio, that initial excitement began to return. Probably the thing that made me feel the most comfortable throughout the entire process, was the clothes. From a personal standpoint, I express myself in a big way through what I wear (hence, my decision to study fashion design). There's something about the experience of being photographed in full, head-to-toe outfits that you choose; with no restrictions to patterns that will interfere with the background, etc. Hanna really gave me complete freedom and all that was important to her was that I feel completely comfortable. And after a bit of warming up, I did. I realized about halfway through the entire experience that these photos don't have to be for anyone, but me. I had been so worried about people seeing them on Facebook and what people would say, that it hadn't even occurred to me that if I don't want to, I don't have to show them to a single soul! There's true magic in getting dressed up and having your picture professionally taken just for yourself and more for the experience than for the end result. To be entirely honest, viewing the photos was not what gave me a sudden boost of self-confidence. I didn't have an “oh, look, I'm pretty moment!” (Okay, well I might've had a few). But in all honesty, It wasn't seeing the pictures that made me feel beautiful, it was this sudden feeling of freedom I got from knowing that I did this for myself and THAT'S OKAY!!! I spent three days picking out outfits, I got my makeup done, and I took a whole evening to disappear from the world and be the center of my own attention! That feeling of power, freedom, and inner-beauty came as a far more precious gift than any of the photos themselves whenever that monster crept in. I am so grateful for this beautiful experience with Hanna and know that it has surely enriched my life.
Celebrate the beautiful woman that you are by giving yourself the gift of being Photographed just for you.